The beliefs children have about intelligence, effort, and struggle impact the choices they make about learning. People tend to hold one of two different beliefs about intelligence:
Individuals with a growth mindset believe that intelligence can be developed. These people see school as a place to develop their abilities and think of challenges as opportunities to grow.
Individuals with a fixed mindset believe that intelligence is fixed at birth and doesn’t change or changes very little with practice. These people see school as a place where their abilities are evaluated, they focus on looking smart over learning, and they interpret mistakes are a sign that they lack talent.
The idea of fixed and growth mindset hold true for both adults and children. The way we praise our children can have a profound impact on their mindset. Research on praise and mindsets shows that when we praise children for being smart, it promotes a fixed mindset. It sends a message that their accomplishments are trait-based, and tied to something innate. In contrast, praising kids for working hard promotes a growth mindset. It sends a message that the child’s effort is what led them to success.
Growth Mindset: Say this, Not that
Say This | Not That |
“I can see you worked so hard on this!” | “You are so smart!” |
Say this because it helps your children understand the value of their effort. | Don’t say this because it makes them think intelligence is a fixed quality. |
“It seems like it’s time to try a new strategy.” | “It’s okay. Maybe you’re just not cut out for this.” |
Say this because it lest your children know that they control outcomes by making choices. | Don’t say this because it makes you children think they don’t have the capacity to improve. |
“That was really hard. Your effort has paid off. Next time you’ll be ready for this kind of challenge.” | “That was really hard. I’m so glad it’s over and you don’t have to do that again.” |
Say this because reminding children of how they were able to overcome challenges by putting forth a lot of effort cultivates a growth mindset. | Don’t say this because there will always be more challenges, and children should feel that they have the tools for what comes next. |
“I like watching you do that.” | “You’re a natural at that.” |
Say this because it conveys a message of approval of an activity they enjoy doing, regardless of outcome. | Don’t say this because the next time your children fail or make a mistake, they might think they do not have that talent after all. |